Ugly

I used to think "ugly" was an ugly word. I don't so much think about it anymore. I mention this because I referred to myself as "ugly looking" in my last post. I wasn't fishing for compliments.

I have spent the majority of my life staring into a mirror waiting for something to be different. My nose is crooked, my eyes are too small, my lips are too thin. And the freckles! Oh, the freckles! I would scrub them off like so much dirt if I could. Short legs. Small feet. Awkwardly tiny hands.

I decided one day to stop. It is hard to stop the physical scrutiny that is so ingrained in women. I can't really change the way that I look. Whats more, I look like this for a reason, or I tell myself that I do.

I decided to stop because I realized that I am pretty fucking awesome. (This is where I get vain)

I am wicked smart. Try me. I hate to brag, but I can hold my own against pretty much anyone. I know all these ridiculous facts that no one needs to know. My memory is nuts.

I am pretty funny. Not like, comedian funny, but I can entertain pretty well.

I am fun. I am down for whatever.

I am a big sweetheart. I love people, and I love helping people. I am more than willing to spend time to help you through a problem.

The point is, I would totally hang out with me. And I have people who do hang out with me. To them, my nose, lips, eyes, freckles, legs, feet, and hands are totally inconsequential.

Some days I still look in the mirror and say "I wish." Most of the time, though, I can look at my life and say "I am."