I'm still up

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security

I can't really think of anything else to do but write. I have always been a writer, though never quite so prolific. I need to actually start journaling, because I can't get super personal on the internet (even if I wanted to) but I can't write things down because Cass is nosy and he has already told me he will read what I write.

I don't think that is fair. I know where he keeps his old journals and love letters. He has a box with all of his precious momentos. I know where it is. I have never even opened it. I have never wanted to. It's his.

I came to a momentous decision recently. It is something I have been kicking around in my head for a while, but am certain of now. I am not going to law school. I'm not even going to take the LSATs. I want an MA (and maybe later a PhD) in history. I would like to study public history, but it is kind of a new field (so to speak) and is not a readily available program. I would definitely have to leave. I am also fascinated with US history. Maybe because I feel like a part of it. I still get goosebumps when someone reads the Declaration of Independence. Isn't that stupid?? I love to read the Constitution. What an amazing document! To me, the beauty of the Constitution isn't in its rigid set up of governmental processes, but the fluidity which it contains.

It is a living document, able to be amended in order to constantly keep up with changing times. Upon its original drafting, emancipation was discussed, though not seriously. Less than 100 years later slavery was no longer a legal practice. The same arguments were made then that are being made today; it is unconstitutional.

There are certain items in the constitution that cannot be changed. And they shouldn't. The revolutionary way in which the powers of government were set up is bordering on brilliant. But even the founding fathers did not expect this document to remain stagnant and unchanged. That is what the Bill of Rights is for, and that is what those future amendments personify.

I grumble about leaving if Palin becomes president, but the truth is I love the US. I would leave with a heavy heart.

In my opinion, furthering my studies in American History, and continuing to study political science (particularly constitutional history) is the best decision I can make as a citizen of this country. I think it is imperative that every single person knows what their rights are and why those are their rights. Civics classes in US high schools are woefully lacking. People regurgitate "rights" without understanding what they really mean.

So I might not make much money, but I will love what I do. And people will call me "intellectual" because I read Zinn and can recite the presidents and vice presidents.

This decision feels right. Who knows, I might change my mind again. But I feel like maybe I'm on the right track. And that is really reassuring.