The Superficial

I went to the gym today. Always an ego bruiser. First, I have to walk down University Blvd in my workout clothes, hair up, no makeup. Fun times. Then I get to the gym and everyone who works out there is thin and attractive. This particular day what seemed like an entire sorority had just come from the pool, so all these super-fit girls were wandering around the locker room in various states of undress.

Sigh.

Then I have to walk back down University, dressed in the same attire, but this time sweaty and red-faced. I always feel gnarly after workouts.

Today, however, I got stuck walking behind 3 people. I have this thing, I hate walking in front of people. So even though these 3 were painfully slow, I trudged it out. Thank God I did, because they were the most woefully ugly people I had ever seen. Look, I'm no Helen of Troy, and no one is off writing me sonnets, but these people were haggard.

It looked like maybe parents with a 30 something daughter. The mom was balding, to the point where I actually considered she might be a chemo patient. She still had eyebrows. The dad was this hippie professor-ish looking man waaaaay past his prime. But the daughter was the real prize. So thin, her thighs wouldn't have touched even if she tried. But with a chubby belly? and she was sway-backed, so her butt looked huge and her gait was off. ON TOP OF THAT, she was lacking a chin, over-served in the nose department and had tragic skin.

Ok, I am not totally morally bankrupt. But I really needed to see those people in order to feel better about myself.

They were parked in the same garage as me, and I hurried to the elevator while they paid. I didn't want to ride up with them. Honestly, I would have laughed. Because maybe I am a little morally bankrupt.

But I am def happy I saw them.