More Pigeon Stories?? Ok!

I talked to my mom about my pigeon theory. The best thing about my mom is that she is just like me. She didn't chide me about overestimating the mental acumen of a pigeon. She was right there with me. In fact, she suggested that the pigeons were killing the roaches in order to help me out. Doubtful, but an interesting theory I hadn't thought of.

She asked me if I was sure they were pigeons and not doves. I didn't correct her that pigeons are a type of dove, I just said, "trust me, they're pigeons."

It got me thinking about pigeons. I have been to St Mark's Square in Venice (pigeon central, BTW. If I were a dumb dirty bird I would so totally live there). But my first indication that pigeons were in fact a terrifying subtype of a terrifying species (birds) I was in NYC near the Intrepid Museum, which I had just visited. I sat down on a bench to enjoy a scrumptious street vendor pretzel. I saw a pigeon on the ground next to me and arbitrarily tossed him a piece of pretzel without thinking about it. About a minute later I looked back on the ground, only this time there were 600 pigeons, all waiting for some pretzel. There was no way out. I was surrounded. Bear in mind, I am maybe 10, 11? Anyway, I toss another piece in order to assuage the teeming masses. A fight breaks out. Bad idea. I stare longingly at my delicious pretzel, then back at the Hitchcockian situation developing near my feet. I made a painful choice. Breaking what was left of my pretzel in to three pieces, I chucked them as hard as I could further down the pier. I then took off running the other way.

It was the only solution.

But it was a good pretzel.

Fucking pigeons...